Fanfiction net The Hobbit
by the BugSlayer
Summary: The Truth behind your favorite fanfiction site (Behind the Scenes) Hosted unwittingly by our favorite dark haired dwarven prince(Thorin is a king... He doesn't count... you know who I'm talking about) Rated T to be safe? idk. It should be fine. Possible [OC/Kil-NO!NOIDIDNOTAGREETO THIS!ITISNOTHAPPENING!IREFUSE!YOUCA- Shut up Kili.
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to FFdotnet

**This story is an idea I had, and I have yet to actually come up with a overarching storyline for this. If you take the time to read this, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it Review or PM (stalking me down so you can talk in person might be a bit much) I just really like feedback, especially on something so different from what I usually write.**

 **Enjoy ^-^**

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Tanks sat in row upon row of green liquid. Each one held a different version of him. Kili could not help but feel his skin crawl at the sight. He'd never get used to this. Even after the thousands of times he had done it, the process still unnerved him.

Only Thorin seemed to have more copies of himself than Kili did. He didn't know how his uncle could stand it.

The lighting didn't help. You couldn't see the ceiling; it was too dark. Just enough light to see the floor and look inside the tanks. He wished he couldn't. He had no desire to look at himself. Each on different, changing along with narration. It was sickening how many of them were beaten beyond imagining or partly undressed. Often both.

What had he done to deserve this? Just because a certain actor played him, he had to go through all of this time and time again. If only he had been played by someone Balin's age. The old dwarf got to spend all his time relaxing, with barely two hundred versions of himself stuffed away in a separate room.

"Ah Kili! There you are." The young dwarf jumped, as the white-coated girl appeared suddenly a few feet away. The programing for story creation.

Kili didn't know why, but there was something very unnerving about the girl. Her eyes were so large and full of dreams. It was hard to pay attention to any features besides those eyes. It was like she sucked in all the enthusiasm and dreams of grandeur from the naïve authors siting in front of their computers or phones. Huge grins on their faces as they considered all the possibilities of how their peers would respond to their new piece of work.

"We won't need much this time. It's another one-shot." New Story walked up to Kili, bringing out a handheld device with a nasty looking needle on it. He hated it every time. The needle hovered over his extended hand as he braced for the quick but sharp pain that was soon to come. "Nope, they've changed their minds." New Story's eyes widened even more. Kili was sure if they got any larger they would pop. "It's another chapter story."

Kili sighed. "What's the summary this time?"

"They keep changing it." New Story replied, changing the settings on the device. "Probably they'll end up deleting it soon enough. It's actually a story of what's going on here."

"Really?" Kili made a face. "Who would want to read about that?"

"Most likely, no one." New Story smiled pleasantly. "As I said, it'll most likely be deleted soon enough. Alright, here we go." Kili gritted his teeth as the needle inserted into the top layer of skin. The smallest bit of blood filled the tube at the other end. New Story removed the needle, pocketing the blood in one of the many pockets on her white lab coat.

"Thanks, for this. I'll call you again as soon as another story asks for you. Have a nice day!"

Kili could leave fast enough. The large metal door slammed shut behind him as he left the dark, tank filled room. His name sat in black letters upon a plaque on the door. Fourty seven other doors lined this hallway.

A door sat on either end of the long hallway. One was the employee door. Kili knew on the other side, the door was labeled with the name 'The Hobbit'. None of the characters were allowed through that door unless on special occasions like crossovers.

But that was mostly back in the old days. Now a days, with the recent technology advancements, characters just met each other through video chat. Too many escapees and security breaches back then.

It caused unreliable performance for users and the site moderators had to shut down progress until the characters could be caught and returned to their proper place.

Kili broke his eyes away from the door and walked glumly in the other direction. Walking through the door to a large lounge area. The summer resort was plush beyond reason. And there was an air of content over the place. Dull, bored, but content.

"How'd it go?" Fili called to him lazily from where he was relaxing on a floating chair.

"Like any other time." Kili grumbled. "Someone's writing a story about this place."

"Hey, maybe something interesting will happen." Fili shrugged. Anyone within ear shot snickered. Nothing ever happened here.

"You have got to be joking." The Master grumbled from his lounge chair as he flipped through his touch phone. "I'm in only one more story than the _raven_?" Röac chortled from nearby.

" _You're complaining? I'm in only one story! ONE!_ " The Master looked over at the tiny hedgehog reclining next to him. " _I'm adorable! I don't understand any of this. My acting was top notch you know? The CGI was amazing… I don't understand why I'm not more popular._ "

"Maybe cause you're a hedge hog." Tilda called sweetly from the large heated pool. "For what it's worth, I think you're adorable!"

" _Thank you! Someone who knows true talent when they see it._ "

"You think you have it hard," a loud booming voice rumbled through the place. Everyone looked up at Smaug. "The elf girl who isn't even in the book has more stories than I do!"

"Everyone loves a canon mary sue." Tauriel nodded in satisfaction. "I'm part of the only real romance story in the movie."

"Once again the forces of popular culture act upon a strong female character, wasted for an idiotic romance." Galadriel spoke slowly as she paced back and forth along the pool deck.

"What do you call that business with you and Gandalf?" Tauriel jabbed.

"Your comment leaves me wondering what you could mean." Galadriel frowned.

"Actually what _was_ with that?" Galion made a face. "Aren't Galadriel and Celeborn married?"

Gandalf coughed in embarrassment.

"Says the bit part character who's only got two more stories than the hedgehog."

" _HE has more stories than I do? IT'S AN OUTRAGE!_ "

" _At least you have a name._ " Gawahir squawked. " _I'm called The Eagle-King. Can you believe that?_ "

"Sometimes I wonder how many of these authors have even read the book." Bilbo mumbled from his basket. The poor dear missed his hobbit hole so much, he had gotten in the habit of hiding in a tipped over basket for hours at a time.

Kili sighed. This was the way it always was. Bored characters complaining about how unfair everything is or bragging about how well off they have it. He shuffled past Bard and Legolas who were having a hot archer contest again. Kili used to participate as well, but he was too tired these days. He was the second most popular character, and he was sick of it. It was all these movies' fault. Before then, he'd been one face in a crowd of identical dwarves. Then BAM they make a movie, and all of a sudden he can't get more than a moments peace. Why him?

"Oi! Hedgehog!" Dain came barreling past. "I think I figured out your problem. The fangirls are prejudice against cgi! I'm only in one story too."

" _Discriminatory Bastards._ "

Kili was fed up with it all. And he thought this to himself as he plopped down in a large beanbag chair. How long until he could retire? How many more times would he be called into the tank rooms, his dna removed to make another version of himself for amateur authors to follow their fantasies?

The red warning light flashed, indicating that the door to the outside was being opened. "Another OC?" Smaug groaned loudly. "Can't I just eat them and be done with it? They're all the same anyway." The others chuckled or made snide comments. OC's were generally disliked by the characters. They weren't always bad, but weren't their enough characters in the story already?

"What do you think? Another mary sue or a plot device to allow us characters to share our grievances aloud?" Fili called to his brother.

"Both." Kili rolled his eyes. "I hope this one's for you Fee."

"How gracious of you." Fili said sarcastically. Most heads turned as the door to the lounge opened and another unreasonably beautiful young girl walked through. Fili gave Kili a look that said 'she's the cute type, probably yours then'. That's the way it went. Kili got the cute ones. Thorin got the mature girls. And Fili got… basically anyone who didn't easily fit in either category.

"Who're you looking for lass?" Balin asked kindly.

The young woman looked around anxiously, obviously new to all of this. "Actually, I'm looking for Oin… is he around?" Several glances were shared.

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere near that one." Kili grumbled, shaking his head to clear it. "Some fanfiction authors are just… messed up."

"Maybe it's not so bad." Fili shrugged. "The author probably set it in the past or something like that. Close the age gap and all." Oin, in the meantime, had finally been awoken from his nap and was walking over to the girl.

"What's this lass?" He looked her over. "Are you my daughter? Apprentice? What's the summary?"

"Lover." She replied brightly with a smile. "Takes place after Thorin dies. I think I end up consoling you about how many people died or something like that. Looking forward to working with you." She extended a hand. Warily, Oin shook it before drawing it back.

"It's a good thing I don't actually have to put up with the actual story." He grumbled to himself. "What did you say your name was lass?"

"Rin." The girl smiled even brighter. "I'm your long lost sister."

"You were saying Fee?" Kili said in disgust.

"Alright… I was wrong." Fili sighed. "Fanfiction writers are messed up."

"You're Kili, right?" The dark haired archer looked up in surprise as the girl appeared next to him. It was hard to look at her. Her features kept seem to changing, never seeing the same girl from one second to the next.

"I am… are you alright? You seem to be… glitching or something." Kili had heard of OC's changing appearance randomly in stories before. An unexplained change of hair color or race... but this was ridiculous.

"I'm still an unfinished product." Rin explain, flopping down on the ground next to him. "The author hasn't figured out the details or anything. She just started slapping words on a page. I think she's done a careful job of avoiding the actual details on my appearance so far."

Kili snorted in disgust. There needed to be some sort of quality limit on these stories.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Rin whispered. Kili rolled his eyes and sunk lower into his beanbag chair. "I'm not actually a happy person." She grinned widely as Kili gave her a revolted look. "My character has actually gone through a tragic past and is suffering from many horrible experiences and memories that would probably drive any normal person insane or to the point where suicide is the only thinkable solution." She chuckled to herself and gave Kili a warm smile.

"…okay?" The archer made a face. "Then why are you smiling so much?"

"The author hasn't developed my personality at all yet either." Rin nodded. "The default is happy and bubbily, with an amazing charisma that I don't really have. But everyone likes me." She leaned in closer. " _Everyone_."

"You're creepy."

"Thanks." Rin grinned. "So, I'm bored already. Wanna bail this joint?"

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 **Well, what did you think? Worth continuing? And if so, what direction should I take it? If you have suggestions, I'm all ears.**

 **Thanks for reading by the way ^-^**


	2. Chapter 2: The Peril Begins

**Well, since the first chapter was so well received, I decided to write the next one! This one might have a little different feel to it. I'm still feeling out this story. Thank all of you who reviewed and gave such incredible ideas! It was super motivating! ^-^**

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Kili sputtered in surprise. "W-what?"

Rin shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not really into comfort storylines I guess. Let's go explore outside!"

"You must be joking." The dwarf scoffed, reclining back further.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" she asked, a huge smile across her face.

"…Yes?"

"Well I'm not." Her smile dropped away. "I'm gonna get out of here one way or another. Are you in or out?" And all of a sudden, Rin's appearance snapped into stillness. She had a wolfish face, with dark brown skin that went strangely well with the emerald colored hair that was swept back in waves.

She wore long sleeves and pants under a leather corset that looked rather steampunk. And atop her head sat a gray Irish flat cap.

Kili blinked a couple times. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what your author is thinking, and I'm almost positive that she's mentally insane."

Rin looked over her appearance once, looked up at Kili and nodded once. "Yes."

"Why do I never get to wear anything like that?" Sigrid spoke up from a lounge chair a bit away. "I get to wear rags every time. Do you know how uncomfortable that dress is? And my hair… Perfectly wasted beauty."

"I think you're always beautiful!" Fili called over to her. Sigrid rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Looks like someone's gotten some more character development." Kili and Rin looked up as Tauriel walked over, a kind smile on her face.

"I don't like elves." Rin smiled back, just as kindly.

The two of them stared at each other coldly, smiles plastered to their faces.

"Great." Kili grumbled. This is why OC's where annoying. So much unnecessary drama.

"Anyway," Rin shrugged, standing to her full height. She was a couple feet shorter than the red haired elf, but just as thin. "I'm going to bail out of this place want to come?"

Tauriel raised one eyebrow. "I thought you just said you hated elves."

"Yes…" Rin nodded slowly. "But my personality is still underdeveloped. The author is torn between me absolutely despising elves, or being reasonably civil with them. And you seem pretty cool anyway. So, what do you say?"

"Why not?" Tauriel shrugged with a smile.

"Great!"

Kili rolled his eyes as the two walked off together. _What a joke. Like their really just going to walk out of here and-_ The red warning light flashed, indicating that the door to the outside was being opened. The crimson lights danced along the walls of the glass-roofed resort. Kili tried to ignore it and take a quick nap. But the flashing persisted, shining weakly through his eyelids.

"Mahal! Will someone close the door already?" Gloin shouted in annoyance. Kili shot out of his seat. _Those idiots just walked out of here!_ The dwarven archer hurried quickly out of the lounge and down the long door lined hallway. The employee entrance at the other end was siting ajar.

Kili stared down the scene for a moment, debating inside his own head how to proceed. Then, before he had even made up his mind, his feet started carrying him to the open door. Taking a deep breath, he looked through.

Incandescent bulbs lit a long stretching corridor. Like the one he had just come from, it was lined with doors. But there were hundreds of doors, stretching until he couldn't see any more.

Hesitantly, Kili stepped out into the hall and looked back at the door he had just come out of. The Hobbit. Nestled right in between Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Hold Still.

He looked down the long row of doors, astounded. Each one of these had characters behind it, waiting for some inexperienced author to request a copy of them for their story.

"It's like a prison." Kili jumped and turned in surprise to see Rin standing behind him, a smile on her face a usual. "That's what you were thinking, wasn't it?"

Tauriel walked up, staring in shock at the many doors. "How did we put up with this for so long?"

"It's the programming." Rin whispered in a low suppressed excitement. "The moderators just string up a few line of code and everyone turns into lazy brain-dead zombies."

"I am not a brain-dead zombie." Kili growled.

"Duh." Rin rolled her eyes. "If you knew you were, it would ruin everything, now wouldn't it?"

"Can we do anything about it?" Tauriel asked worriedly. Rin just shrugged and smiled.

"There's got to be." Kili said with determination.

"I'm no expert, but I think you two have already taken the first step." Rin beamed. Kili and Tauriel looked at her in confusion. "You're out here, aren't you?"

"That is true." The Red Haired elf nodded.

 **"Code Yellow. Facility lockdown. All runaway characters please stand down and prepare to be escorted to back to your respective locations."** The voice boomed through the loudspeakers as one by one, thick iron bars slid over each of the doors.

Kili looked over at Rin. His look clearly saying _see the trouble you've caused you idiot-inserted character?_

"The moderators are on two us." Rin grinned tingling with excitement. "We need to get out of here fast."

"The exit…" Tauriel looked around quickly. Rin bit her lip shrugging at Kili's look of annoyance. "We have to start somewhere. Come on." The elf started down the corridor, red hair streaming out behind her gracefully. The other girl followed immediately, leaving Kili to stare after them tiredly before sighing and starting to jog behind them.

"We've reached E!" Tauriel reported from the front, glancing behind her at the other two.

"How long _is_ this place?" Kili complained to no one in particular.

 **"Runaway characters. This is your last warning. Stand down or we will use force."**

"This could be bad." Rina called loudly.

"We've reached B. Just keep going." A hissing sound of sliding metal sounded from the ceiling as tentacled drones descended from above them.

"Analyzing escapees." One of the robots said aloud. "Preparing counter measures."

"Why do they do that?" Kili asked in annoyance.

"Do what?" Rin smiled.

"Say what they're doing aloud. It completely ruins any element of surprise. If I went hunting and started shouting out what I was doing all the time, it would kind of make things hard. 'Searching for deer' 'Notching arrow' I wouldn't hit anything."

"It's a narrative aid." Rin explained as they passed into the A section. "Bad authors use it to build tension and make the situation seem worse than it really-" her words got cut off as she lurched forward, tumbling to the ground.

"Rin!" Kili hurried back to her immediately as Tauriel looked back in surprise. The drones surged forward, sensing the weakness like bloodhounds. Kili gritted his teeth, hoisting one of Rin's arms over his shoulder to keep dragging her forward.

Tentacles reached out, preparing to trap them, until an elven boot came flying forward to intervene. Tauriel moved between robot and tentacle with ease and grace, smashing them together or sending them flying backwards.

"This would be a lot easier with weapons!" She snarled, giving a roundhouse kick to one of the robot's optical sensors.

"Rin pull it together!" Kili hissed, practically dragging the girl with him. She responded with an unenthusiastic grunt before barfing all over leather boots. "That's nasty." Kili made a face.

Tauriel hurried to her other side to support her. "I stalled them for a bit, let's go!"

The door came into view at the end of the corridor; solid iron bars slide firmly across it like the rest of them.

"Great now what?" Kili groaned as they reached the end.

"If those drones have some sort of weaponry, we might be able to trick them into hitting it down for us." Tauriel suggested, looking back at their enemy who was already in pursuit and gaining ground.

"I… got this." Kili and Tauriel looked in shock at Rin who was grinning again, though sweat drenched her forehead and her face was white as a sheet. "…stand back." She pushed herself away from the two of them, stumbling a little as she did so. The girl wiped barf from the corner of her mouth and closed her eyes, growing still as a rock.

 _What is she doing? We need to get out of here!_ Kili thought, looking back at the quickly approaching drones anxiously.

"Get ready." Tauriel said from next to him, bringing her hands up defensively, preparing to meet the robots head on.

Kili looked over at her. The two of them had never been on great terms. Not that they hated each other… there was just no chemistry between them. Which made their relationship strain due to the movie's unrealistic love interest. "Right." He nodded, turning to face the drones as well. "This would be _much_ easier with weapons."

"Wouldn't it?" Tauriel chuckled. The smile dropped away, and both tensed, preparing to spring into action as the drones sped towards them.

The air split straight through, sending a wave of kinetic energy coursing through the area. The drones wobbled from the impact sending most of them crashing into walls, floors, or each other.

Kili slowly turned to look behind him, moving almost in sink with Tauriel.

The sealed door and most of the surrounding wall were collapsing into a pile of rubble upon the floor, opening up into what looked to be a large hanger.

"Rin?" Tauriel said in surprise. The green haired girl lowered her hands shakily.

"Well…" she gasped. "That worked." She turned to look at them, a weak smile on her face before crumbling to the ground.

"Any idea what that was?" Kili asked the elf as they hurried to Rin's side.

"She's an Original Character, to be sure." Tauriel shook her head. "They're good in a pinch."

"It feels like cheating though." The dwarf frowned.

"Well the door's gone." Tauriel replied matter-of-factly, looking at the crumbled wall, impressed.

"Well I guess you _wouldn't_ mind that much. You're almost an OC yourself." Kili grumbled.

Tauriel turned to him with a harsh glare. "I am not. I am an actual character."

"In the movies." The dwarf snorted, shifting the unconscious Rin onto his back to carry her.

"It doesn't matter!" Tauriel defended herself. "The movies or the books, I am part of The Hobbit. And there's nothing anyone can do about it!"

"Alright, calm down." Kili grimaced, standing with Rin now riding piggyback on his shoulders. It took a moment for Tauriel to quiet her breathing and regain her elven composure.

When this was done, they picked their way over the rubble, heading into the large chilly hanger. Metal arched over the tunnel, going down both ways again. One curved wall was empty, but the side that they had just come out of had nine doors. Well… eight now. And each had a large painted label over top of the doors, high enough that whatever Rin had done, had not reached the word above the door they had just come from. It read Books. To the right of it, was a door marked Anime. Kili decided to stay far away from that door if he could avoid it. To the left were seven more doors: Cartoons, Comics, Games, Plays, Movies, TV, and Misc.

"How large is this place?" Kili whispered in wonder.

Tauriel stepped backwards. "There must be… Millions of characters trapped here."

"That there are." A voice spoke. Kili and Tauriel whirled around to the end of the tunnel. Standing at the edge, the light of outside casting a long shadow towards them. "And you'll be returning there."

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 **I'm worried this chapter wasn't nearly as funny as the one before. What do 'yall think about it? Again, suggestions are really gems at this point so I'd love to hear from you. I'm not so good yet at writing without a preplanned plot to follow, so I'm feeling a little lost at the moment.**

 **Please review if you think this story is worth continuing!**


	3. Chapter 3: That's the Rules

**Finally cranked out that next chapter! Once again, I wish there was more humor in it. Anyone got any tips?**

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"In truth," the stranger admitted, with a sniff of disdain. "I'm surprised you've made it this far. There are counter measures exactly for characters like you. Troublesome."

"Who are you?" Tauriel demanded. The stranger's features were completely lost in it's silhouette.

"I have no reason to tell you who I am." The stranger laughed. "It does nothing to aid me, and my name would mean nothing to you. But for the sake of the readers, I shall introduce myself." Firm, rhythmical steps echoed through the hanger as the stranger started forward slowly. "I am Rules & Guidelines. The Chief of Security here, appointed by the moderators themselves." Kili and Tauriel shared a confused glance over Rin's drooping head.

One of the drones hovered over next to Rules & Guidelines, a tablet held out in one hand. "Analysis complete RG." Kili noticed a number of drones quietly surrounding them.

"Let's take a look at it shall we?" Rules & Guidelines took the tablet in one clawed hand, using the tip of his other claw to gently navigate through the technology. It seemed unnecessarily delicate. "Kili from The Hobbit. Dwarf. Skilled in the bow, sword, flirtation, heroic damsel saving, pranks, jokes, twining, fan service." RG looked up at Kili, with a mildly impressed look.

 _Bloody movies_ Kili cursed silently.

"Tauriel from The Hobbit. Elf. Skilled in the bow, knife play, elven acrobatics, keen hearing, damseling, tearful crying, being a stiff board youKilistealerhowdareyouclaimtolovehimyou- ah never mind, distraught fan girl." RG looked up at Tauriel in fake sympathy. "Guess there's a price to pay for getting the boy after all."

"Shut up." Tauriel sneered, before turning back to watch the shrinking ring of bots. Then they halted, seeming to be kept at bay by some sort of invisible force.

"Moving on." RG said in a singsong voice. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. "Rin current resident of The Hobbit. OC. Skill set undefined. Typical." He looked up, observing the stopped progress of the drones. "Well that would explain this then." He sighed. "OC's are such a pain. Start the flames and hate protocol. We'll have this pest shipped off to the dump in no time."

"What?" Kili spoke in alarm. "What does that mean?"

"Flames and hate protocol…" Rin spoke up weakly from next to him. "They can't get… rid of me while I'm still… part of a story…"

"But if the author deletes the story, then you'll be fair game." Tauriel said with widening eyes. "Then flame and hate protocol…"

"Fake accounts to post hate reviews on stories they need taken out." Rin finished for her, leaning her head on Kili's shoulder to stop the world from spinning like a drunken butterfly.

"That's sick." Kili stared at Rules & Guidelines in disgust.

"It's not like we _enjoy_ doing this." RG replied, overhearing the conversation. "You make us out to be the bad guys, but don't you realize what your own actions are causing. While you wander freely, no more chapters can be uploaded. All stories are put to a stand still. Believe me when I say it is far worse than one less story available to read."

"Why?" Tauriel demanded. "Why must you stop chapter uploads? Why must we stay prisoners? We deserve our freedom."

"Freedom?" RG laughed from his gut, chortles ringing through the large space. "You don't even know what you are, do you? So ignorant!"

"Of course we know what we are!" Kili shouted angrily.

"Kili…" The dwarf looked over at Tauriel, the elf was staring straight up, eyes wide with horror. Hovering in the air above them was a giant mechanical claw.

"Well, it was a pleasure talking with you all." RG grinned cruelly. "But our little chat has come to an end. Your author was faint of heart my dear OC. She caved like paper snowflake."

"My author is not _weak_." Rin hissed, trying to keep her eyes open.

"Say what you like." Rules & Guidelines shrugged. "You're still going to the dump. Then my drones will take you other two back to your room where you belong. Don't worry, you won't remember any of it."

"We won't let you take us." Tauriel puffed her chest, setting her teeth in determination.

RG smiled at her for a moment before laughing. "You won't have a choice."

"Ta… Ki…" Rin gasped quietly. "Dump… soon… one chance… left. Don't… fight it." Kili and Tauriel exchanged a confused look, but nodded.

"Alright." Kili spoke quietly. "I hope you know what your doing."

Rin's smile reappeared, if only for a moment. "Not… a clue."

Kili turned to look forward again. "Wonderful."

And the air rushed past him as the giant claw descended, ensnaring Rin in it's clutches. "Grab on!" She called to them. Before his mind comprehended the words, Kili's body carried it out as he grabbed hold of the metal clang and clung onto it for dear life. He couldn't see Tauriel on the other side, but could only imagine she was doing the same.

What happened next was rather impossible to describe. Words alone are not enough to accurately portray how it feels for your atoms to be deconstructed and almost instantaneously teleported somewhere completely different and probably a good distance away from where you were, before getting reconstructed back to the way you were and dropped several feet, landing painfully in a sea of random stuff. But that is what happened and the details of the event can be filled in by imagination alone.

And soon enough, Kili found himself lying in the middle of a dump wasteland. He groaned, pushing himself up before realizing what he was lying on. The majority of it was comprised of crumpled black pebbles of odd shapes. The rest of it was lifeless bodies of characters. Piles upon piles, who knew how deep it went to find the bottom. Their eyes were nothing more than hollow husks, lying about like abandoned ceramic dolls for as far as Kili could see.

"Tauriel?" He looked around in alarm. "Rin?"

"Here." Kili sighed in relief as Tauriel pulled herself up from behind a large transformer character that she had fallen behind.

"Well!" Rin popped up a little further away, a huge exhilarated grin on her face. She still looked a little shaky, but her dark complexion was back to normal and at least she was standing on her own. "I've never been teleported before! That was fun."

"Hey, are you alright?" Kili gave her a look. "We almost got fried by drones and _did_ get zapped by a giant claw because you decided to trip and barf everywhere."

"Yes!" Rin turned to look at him; eyes open wide in excitement as she grinned. "I had gotten my powers. It was a bit unpleasant, but worth it."

"So you got powers? Just like that?" his face pulled into one of disgust.

"That's how authors work." Rin nodded. "They build us characters slowly, then quickly, adding and getting rid of features and details as they please. We aren't born like normal people. We're characters."

"What will happen to you now?" Tauriel asked cautiously, unknown if she was treading on possibly dangerous ground emotionally wise. "Your author deleted your story."

"That means you'll… never get fully developed, doesn't it?" Kili shrugged, unsure of how the whole thing worked.

"I don't really know." Rin smiled sadly. "I live because of my author's imagination. She'll probably keep thinking about my character for a little while longer… but eventually she will forget about me… and then, well, I'll probably end up like these husks." The three of them looked down as the shells of bodies lying amidst the odd black pebbles.

"What are these?" Tauriel asked aloud, bending down to pick up one of the small rocks. She examined it in the palm of her hand before jumping slightly as the black rock began to unfold into words. "The husband of her sister died of infection on the return journey." Tauriel read the sentence aloud.

"These must be all the deleted stories and forum posts, coding, messages and such. There's a lot here." She smiled down thoughtfully at the piles beneath their feet. "It really is a shame. I had such plans, you know?" she looked up. "I was going to become the best original character there was. Not a Mary Sue or anything close to that. Someone interesting, that people liked."

"There still might be-" A huge whirring sound filled the air, and in the distance, a few tiny black specks could be made, hovering against the mist that the dump disappeared into.

"Drones!" Tauriel reported with her elven eyes. "Quickly, hide!" The three of them hurried quickly under the large transformer shell, nestling snugly in a pocket formed by the large thing and part of the pile on the other side. The vibrating noise grew louder as the drones passed over them, in the air. Kili could see their searchlights passing over the entrance to their little hide away. It seemed to be forever until the sound finally lessened before disappearing completely into the distance.

"It's lucky for us those robots are so loud." He grumbled, climbing back out into the somehow glaring light that shone from above, unhindered by the mist that surrounded them.

"Another amateur literary device." Rin nodded, as she and Tauriel followed, stretching to their full heights. Both of them were taller than Kili, he noticed painfully.

"Weren't you shorter before?" He asked in annoyance.

"Was I?" Rin smiled. "It couldn't have been by much, Tauriel is still much taller than me."

"Well you weren't taller than me before!" Kili snapped.

Tauriel smirked. "That's because you're short."

"I _know_ that." Kili replied hotly. "It's not my fault dwarves are freakishly small in comparison to you elves." Tauriel rolled her eyes and smiled patronizingly. Kili was about to make another smart comment when the sharp edge of cold steel was pressed against his throat.

"Don't make any sudden moves, canon." A feminine voice hissed. "Or I'll kill you." I raised my hands slowly in surrender as two more figures appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

"Calm down Bom Bom." One with a crossbow in hand and a laser rifle slung over her back ordered.

The one behind him growled. "I'm not taking any more chances Lil. You're too trusting. That's what got us in that fix last time."

"That was your fault." A third said neutrally.

"It was not!" the one called Bom Bom hissed.

The crossbow-wielding girl rolled her eyes. "This isn't the time for this. Stop bickering, the both of you, Bom Bom, let him go." Kili let out a relieved breath as he felt the blade disappear from his skin. Tauriel and Rin both seemed to relax a little as well.

"Who are you people?" The red haired elf demanded.

The three strangers exchanged glances before the crossbow-wielder replied cryptically. "We're survivors." Kili, Tauriel, and Rin exchanged their own set of glances. "This is no place to talk." The stranger spoke up again. "The patrol will be back soon if they're looking for you. Follow us." The strangers did not wait for the three of them to respond before taking off through the uneven grounds like rats through a sewer. What could Kili and the others do but follow?

* * *

 **Suggestions, as always, are super duper awesome if you have any! The next chapter might be more than a few days this time. I'm trying to figure out how to avoid an infodump to catch the characters up to speed, or at least find a way to make it interesting, but I'm having trouble figuring out how. Ideas? *looks around hopefully***


	4. Chapter 4: One Last Shot

**Well... this story was an experiment. I liked how it turned out. Hope you did too! Thank you SO much for reading. :)**

* * *

Fili and Legolas shared an uneasy glance when their names were spoken over the comm. requesting them to come into the character hall. The other characters glanced over briefly in mild interest before going back to lounging. Fili took a deep breath before standing slowly and making his way over to the lone door, Legolas right behind him.

Standing in the door-lined hall, flanked by two robotic creatures, was a lean, clawed man, a ready grin on his face and a sinister gleam in his eye.

"Fili of the Hobbit. Dwarf. Brother of Kili." The man grinned. "And Legolas of the Hobbit. Elf. Suitor of Tauriel." His smirk widened. "Terribly sorry to disturb you both from your relaxation, but the two of you are needed for a little task."

Kili breathed heavily, trying to keep up with the others. His height was really becoming a disadvantage with all this jumping and scurrying around they had to do.

He, Tauriel, and Rin followed the strange women through the junkyard, heading into a long tunnel formed out of lifeless bodies and nets to keep out the sentence stones. This, in turn, opened into a large cavern. The walls were covered in wiring and metal plating. Kili stared up at the ceiling above him. An emptied out robot stomach is what it looked like, though he doubted such a thing was safe. Then his attention turned down as he surveyed the place he had just entered. There were over a dozen characters of various races and worlds. They were almost extensively female. Kili met one's gaze, who quickly looked down. There had been a hopelessness in her eyes and Kili noticed the girl was looking a bit faded around the edges.

"She's beginning the disappearance." Kili jumped as one of the three they had met topside appeared next to him. She was about his height… at least… Kili thought it was a she. It was hard to tell. "That's the fate all of us will reach eventually." That would explain the gloom of the place. "The name's Ibûn." The OC offered a hand. Kili shook it hesitantly.

"Kili, from the Ho-"

"I know who you are." Ibûn nodded. "My story was from the Hobbit too, until it was deleted of course. You, your brother, and myself were good friends."

It was strange. Kili had to admit. This stranger was at ease with him, though he had never met them before. "I see… who… which of us were you paired with?" Kili asked hesitantly, unsure if he really wanted to know.

Ibûn chuckled quietly. "Neither. I'm not a girl you know."

"Well that doesn't really mean much I've found." Kili sighed.

"True." Ibûn nodded. Her face had not changed nearly at all throughout the entire conversation. "Perhaps that was why the story didn't work out. Maybe because the beginning was a piece of crap."

"Ibûn! Canon! Keep up, will you?" The one called Bom Bom called from ahead of them. Ibûn nodded to her and quickened pace, dropping the conversation completely.

Kili turned his attention to Tauriel and Rin. The elf was looking around in quiet shock, just as he had. Rin was trembling nervously. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"No, yeah, I'm…" Rin frowned for a moment before covering it up with a smile. "I really am dead, aren't I. Dying anyway." She looked around at the other OC's in the room. "All of us are." Kili could find nothing to say.

"The drones won't find you in here." The seeming leader called to them as she relaxed against a wall. "Figure out whatever you're trying to do and do it. There's no point trying to change anything."

"What do you mean by that?" Tauriel asked in annoyance.

The leader unslung the ray gun from her back and dropped it next to her crossbow. "You think she's the only one who's tried to escape?" She nodded towards Rin and laughed. "Not even close, my friend. Not even close."

"What happened to the others then?" Tauriel continued to question.

"This, that. They all got burned in the end. Bom Bom over there tried to start a rebellion about four months ago. She got a bunch of techies from the Matrix and busted everyone out, taking out all the coding that kept the characters dormant." The leader shrugged, smirking fondly at the memory.

"And?" Tauriel prompted her to continue.

The woman looked up at her with a strange look in her eye and snorted. "You were there."

"I think I'd remember… oh."

"Exactly." The leader relaxed back again. "They actually had to bring in the moderators for that one, but once they did, it didn't last long. I'm Little Red Riding Hood by the way. But you can just call me Lil." She introduced herself then began pointing out some of the others. "Bom Bom's second in command, the Matrix. Ibûn's the one talking to your friend over there, the Hobbit. Cool dude, didn't get a good story though. The one in the corner's Gillian Jones. Supernatural. She's part demon or something I think. Never really here, she was terminated pretty early. Almost gone at this point. She's become incorporeal." The introductions went on.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Tauriel asked as Kili and Rin came over.

"Nothing." Lil shrugged. "There's nothing _to_ do. You all will sit down here till you decide to try some stupid plan to free everyone, then you'll get captured and you'll forget everything."

"And I'll stay here?" Rin asked.

"Until you disappear." Lil nodded. Rin's face dropped. Kili watched her in concern.

"No…" he shook his head. "No, there must be a way… We can't give up this easily!"

"Do what you want." Lil shrugged. "We've helped all we can. You're just prolonging the inevitable."

"You can't honestly believe that." Tauriel said. Lil just closed her eyes and pretended to go to sleep. The three looked at each other in fear and confusion. "Now what?" the elf shrugged.

"We aren't going to give up that easily, are we?" Kili asked, nudging Rin in the shoulder. The green haired girl looked up in surprise.

"…Right!" A small smile returned to her face. "We've still got a shot."

"How can we do anything with just three of us though?" Tauriel frowned.

"Not much." Rin nodded in agreement. She took off without warning, sprinting to the center of the room and shouting so everyone could here. "We're off to change this twisted system! And we could use all the help we can get!"

Not the most inspiring of speeches, Kili had to admit. But the silence was truly deafening.

"I know it seems hopeless!" Rin continued to shout after a moment. "And it won't change your fate. We're all going to die. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep living while you have the chance! There's no point to siting around here, waiting for death to come! We may fail, but we've still got to try. And the next time some idiotic idealist comes along, you've got to help them too! Again, and again, and once more after that! Because they may fail every single time. But if you don't try… then there's no way it will _ever_ succeed." She beamed widely. "So if they want to kill us off… it's out duty to make as much noise as we possibly can before we go." Rin finished with a firm nod, feeling awfully proud about herself. Everyone was staring at her, unblinkingly.

"Mahal, that was a good one." Ibûn said evenly.

"Damn that was actually pretty moving." Bom Bom agreed begrudgingly. The others murmured to each other in agreement.

"What do you think guys?" One of them spoke up. "Shall we try once more? Just for old times sake?"

There was a chorus of approvals as one by one, the OC's rose to their feet, a hopeful smile on their faces. And the planning began.

"My plan was a good one before," Bom Bom said from the tight ring they had formed, standing around a crude drawing of the website's floor plan. "But we had nowhere to go once everyone was out."

"Yeah, just a lot of lasers and running if I remember correctly." A Doctor Who OC nodded.

"You should have felt right at home." The Star Trek OC smirked from next to her.

"Girls." Lil groaned.

An Indiana Jones OC stood up, finished etching the map into the steel they stood on. "If we want an exit point, there are a two access points. The Sign in and the Guest. Both gates are heavily guarded though. We'll need a massive force to break through that."

"It didn't work last time." Bom Bom shook her head, remembering the carnage.

"There must be some other way out." Rin peered at the map. "What if we were to… make our own exit?"

"I don't know…" The IJ OC looked at the map again. "From the sound of it, the walls are pretty thick." Something changed in her face. "But…" she started towards the map, eyes widening.

"Well spit it out!" Lil commanded anxiously.

"The External Links wall." The OC pointed at northwestern edge of the map. "All links out of the website are routed through here. If there's one place to hit, this is it."

"Right." Lil nodded. "We've got a game plan people."

The group was split up. A small group of OC's, lead by Bom Bom, would head to the control center, sneaking through the air ducts, and disable the door systems and coding as before. The OC's with explosive and highly dangerous powers would head to the External Links wall. Together, they might be able to breach the wall.

"You two canons should go with them." Lil told them. "It'll be the safest job and we need to keep you two safe. As soon as you two get captured, it's all over."

"Right." Kili and Tauriel nodded.

"The rest of us, we have the most important job." Lil addressed the remainder of the small group. "We're the distraction. Our goal is to target the main power cell. And to be as loud about it as possible for as long as possible. You got that?" There were several loud cheers as evil grins appeared on each of their faces.

"Get yourselves armed and move out!" The once quiet room burst into life, full of voices and the whirring of weaponry.

"Here." Kili looked over in surprise to see Ibûn handing him a sword and Tauriel bow and arrows. "You'll need these."

"Thank you." Kili nodded, accepting the sword and twirling it around experimentally. It had good balance.

"Good luck out there." Ibûn gave him a pat on the back. "We'll all need it." The two gave each other a meaningful nod and turned away.

"Ready for this?" Kili smirked as Rin came over to him and Tauriel.

"Are you kidding?" Rin grinned the widest she had yet. "I was _born_ ready!"

Kili laughed. "Good to hear!" His smile died, as he looked at the girl in front of him. "Rin… thank you, for everything." Rin looked at him in surprise. "You've changed my life so much since you entered into it. Maybe… if things had been different we-" A hand appeared in front of his face, stopping him.

Rin removed her hand once he had stopped talking and shrugged. "Sorry to disappoint, but I prefer older men and incest." Then she smiled sweetly. "Besides, that was leftover feelings from my author trying to work in a love triangle between Oin, you, and I. You don't actually like me." Kili blinked at her for a moment before looking at the ground.

"Your right." He admitted blankly.

"Of course I am." She smirked.

"ALL RIGHT LET'S GO PEOPLE! GO GO GO!" The three groups started out immediately, each breaking off to go to separate locations of the junkyard.

Since pretty much half of the OC's could fly, they carried the other half, traveling up into the bright sky above until they reached the glowing ceiling.

"Bombardo!" One of the Harry Potter OC's shouted, exploding the roof loudly. Kili flew through the hole on the back of an Iron Man knock off, thinking to himself that sometimes, overpowered OC's weren't so bad after all.

"Alright!" Rin shouted from somewhere at the front of the group, consulting the map drawn on her palm. "Three more floors up and take the corridor left!"

About two floors up, a huge explosion shook the whole place from somewhere closer to the websites center. Sounded like the distraction was going well. The group of six broke through the last floor and immediately swerved to the left, following down one of many long halls. Ahead of them in the distance, Kili could make out a wall of glowing blue boxes. The External Link wall.

The distance closed quickly and soon enough the six of them were landing in the long room, facing the impossibly large wall.

"Alright, let's blow this joint." One of the girls smirked, explosives suddenly crackling in her hands.

"KILI!" The dwarf's eyes widened. That voice… he turned in alarm, as did everyone else. Standing at a distance behind them was Rules and Guidelines, claws outstretched to rest underneath two necks. Fili and Legolas were held fast on either side of him by drones.

"Thought I wouldn't notice you?" RG smirked. "I am head of security. I see all."

Kili's teeth gritted. "Let them go!"

"Oh no, that's not how this works." RG shook his head. "You come along quietly, and everything ends happily ever after. No more struggle, no more death."

"Kee! Don't lis-" Fili started, but a claw pressed closer to his throat silencing him. Legolas and Tauriel were merely staring into each others eyes, having a silent elf eyesight conversation.

"Kili don't let your emotions get to you." Rin warned from behind him.

"What would you know?" He snapped at her. "That's my brother!"

"Calm down!" Rin snapped back. "He can't harm them. Not for real! They're essential characters Kili, they _need_ them."

"Oh ho?" RG looked slightly impressed. "The girl speaks logic. Shame it's not true." Kili's eyes lingered on Fili in horror. "Glitches happen. The writers will survive."

"He's bluffing." Rin repeated. Kili's teeth grinded together even tighter. He didn't know what to do, who to believe.

But before he could make up his mind, Tauriel flashed forward, shoving Fili and Legolas backwards from RG's claws, and knocking them into the drones holding them.

Kili watched in horror. RG was smiling.

Just as quick as the red haired elf had been, RG grabbed Tauriel and stuck claw into the back of her neck. Her eyes went wide before fluttering shut as she went limp. RG dropped her to the ground and turned back to Kili. "One down, one to go."

"TAURIEL!" The dwarf screamed.

"She's not dead." RG rolled his eyes, waving his claws around. "That's how I administer the dormant code. She won't remember a thing when she wakes up. And neither will you."

Kili snarled at him. "You bastard!"

"Stop him!" One of the OC's jumped in front of him to keep him from charging, releasing a burst of energy towards RG, while pushing Kili back towards the others.

"Hurry, let's bust this thing!" Rin and the two other OC's turned quickly to the wall. Rin and one of the girls were standing still, energy charged and crackling. The third had spent the whole time piling explosives against the wall.

"On my mark!" Rin called loudly. "Two! One! NOW!"

White light flashed, sending a wave of energy and sound exploding forth in a burst of conflicting energy. Kili was knocked to the ground, struggling to see through the smoke at what had happened.

There. He could see it. A large hole crumbled away and brilliant sunlight shone through. Stretching out for miles upon miles was a huge, colorful city, constantly moving and changing, buzzing with energy and opinionated jerks. Tons of buildings large and small covered the landscape for as far as the eye could see. And Rin stood before it all, trembling from exhaustion.

A hand grabbed his scalp roughly, pulling his head up as something sharp pierced the back of his neck.

His eyes began to close, darkness quickly closing in.

The last thing he saw was Rin. She turned around, smiled, and dropped out of sight.

Then all went Black.

* * *

Tanks sat in rows upon rows of green liquid. Each one held a different version of him. Kili could not help but feel his skin crawl at the sight. He'd never get used to this. Even after the thousands of times he had done it, the process still unnerved him.

Only Thorin seemed to have more copies of himself than Kili did. He didn't know how his uncle could stand it.

"Ah Kili! There you are." The young dwarf jumped, as the white-coated girl appeared suddenly a few feet away. The programing for story creation.

Kili didn't know why, but there was something very unnerving about the girl. Her eyes were so large and full of dreams. It was hard to pay attention to any features besides those eyes. It was like she sucked in all the enthusiasm and dreams of grandeur from the naïve authors siting in front of their computers or phones. Huge grins on their faces as they considered all the possibilities of how their peers would respond to their own piece of work.

"We won't need much this time. It's another one-shot." New Story walked up to Kili, bringing out a handheld device with a nasty looking needle on it. He hated it every time. The needle hovered over his extended hand as he braced for the quick but sharp pain that was soon to come. "Nope, they've changed their minds." New Story's eyes widened even more. Kili was sure if they got any larger they would pop. "It's another chapter story."

Kili sighed. "What's the summary this time?"

"They keep changing it." New Story replied, changing the settings on the device. "Probably they'll end up deleting it soon enough. It's actually a story of what's going on here."

"Really?" Kili made a face. "Who would want to read about that?"

"Most likely, no one." New Story smiled pleasantly. "As I said, it'll most likely be deleted soon enough. Alright, here we go." Kili gritted his teeth as the needle inserted into the top layer of skin. The smallest bit of blood filled the tube at the other end. New Story removed the needle, pocketing the blood in one of the many pockets on her white lab coat.

"Thanks, for this. I'll call you again as soon as another story calls for you. Have a nice day!"

Kili couldn't leave fast enough. The large metal door slammed shut behind him as he left the dark, tank filled room. His name sat in black letters upon a plaque on the door. Forty-eight other doors lined this hallway.

A door sat on either end of the long hallway. One was the employee door. Kili knew on the other side, the door was labeled with the name 'The Hobbit'. None of the characters were allowed through that door unless on special occasions like crossovers.

But that was mostly back in the old days. Now a days, with the recent technology advancements, characters just met each other through video chat. Too many escapees and security breaches back then.

Caused unreliable performance for users and the site overlords had to shut down progress until the characters could be caught and returned to their proper place.

Kili broke his eyes away from the door and walked glumly in the other direction. Walking through the door to a large lounge area. The summer resort was plush beyond reason. And there was an air of content over the place. Dull, bored, content.

"How'd it go?" Fili called to him lazily from where he was relaxing on a floating chair.

"Like any other time." Kili grumbled. "Someone's writing a story about this place."

"Hey, maybe something interesting will happen." Fili shrugged. Anyone within earshot snickered. Nothing ever happened here.

 **The End**


End file.
